Wetworld
by Mark Michalowski


Publisher: BBC
ISBN: 1 84607 271 0

     

    BASIC PLOT
    When the TARDIS makes a disastrous landing in the swamps of the planet Sunday, the Doctor has no choice but to abandon Martha and try to find help. But the tranquility of Sunday's swamps is deceptive, and even the TARDIS can't protect Martha forever.

    DOCTOR
    Tenth.

    COMPANIONS
    Martha Jones.

    MATERIALISATION CIRCUIT
    Pg 14 In a swamp, the planet Sunday, 2108. But see Continuity Cock-Ups.

    PREPARATORY READING
    None.

    CONTINUITY REFERENCES
    Pg 13 "He stretched out his right hand. 'And this here hand is a butterin' hand!'" The Christmas Invasion.

    "I'm beginning to suspect you've got a bit of a thing about New York, you know." Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks.

    Pg 29 "I mean, I could go through all that "Red sun... narrows it down; point nine Earth normal gravity... narrows it down" malarkey." World War Three.

    Pg 42 "'There!' he said triumphantly, brandishing the little wallet with the piece of psychic paper in it under their noses." End of the World et al.

    Pg 43 "This says he's Madame Romana, Astrologer to the Stars." The Ribos Operation et al.

    Pg 50 "What if he's an adjudicator, sent from Earth for some reason?" Colony in Space et al.

    Pg 51 Further reference to Romana.

    Pg 54 "'We have an Earth Empire?' He glanced at his watch. 'You will,' he smiled." Colony in Space et al.

    Pg 61 "There were no visions of her family, no Mum, no Dad, no Leo or Tish." Smith and Jones et al.

    Pgs 126-127 "If she'd been back in the Royal Hope and any of her patients had behaved like this, the staff would have screamed blue murder at them." Smith and Jones.

    Pg 137 "Martha had seen him possessed by a living sun - and survive." 42.

    Pg 196 "Something like that: Smith and Jones, we are." Smith and Jones.

    Pg 199 "The stage trees, for example, and the Krynoids" The Seeds of Doom.

    Pg 209 "Oh, I've known people try to surfboard into space of far more unbelievable things" Boom Town. And see Continuity Cock-Ups.

    Pg 224 Another reference to Smith and Jones.

    Pg 232 "She'd seen what he'd done with the Family, back in 1913." The Family of Blood.

    OLD FRIENDS AND OLD ENEMIES
    None.

    NEW FRIENDS AND NEW ENEMIES
    Candy Kane, Orlo, Ty Benson, Sara Hashmi, Henig, the otters.

    CONTINUITY COCK-UPS

    1. Pg 14 The TARDIS materialises and promptly sinks into a swamp. Which is fine, except that it's never recovered and the book ends without the first idea of where the TARDIS is or how the Doctor's going to get it back.
    2. Pg 130 "'He made himself known to me,' Pallister pointed out gently, omitting the fact that it had been he that had had gone to the Doctor." Huh?
    3. Pg 209 "Oh, I've known people try to surfboard into space of far more unbelievable things" Huh?
    4. Pg 210 "A stocky black guy with a weird, asymmetrical beard stood up." This scene is from Martha's point of view, so why would she comment on a black guy's skin colour when she doesn't concentrate on the skin colour of all the white people?

    PLUGGING THE HOLES [Fan-wank theorizing of how to fix continuity cock-ups]

    1. The TARDIS is never recovered. This may be a subtle clue that these events actually take place in a parallel universe so this version of the Doctor and Martha are forced to live out the remainder of their days on this swampy colony.
    2. Pallister is hanging by a thread and it's giving him a mental stutter.
    3. The Doctor is worried by the loss of the TARDIS and it's affecting his syntax.
    4. Perhaps because this is written by the author of Halflife, a book obsessed with describing an entire planet full of people with "smooth, dark skin" at every opportunity.

    FEATURED ALIEN RACES
    Pg 7 A bird.

    Pg 44 Otters with the faces of bears, large claws and massive teeth.

    Pg 59 A tentacled alien who we never get much more than a glimpse of nor a name or any description of note. Which is unfortunate, since it's the book's primary menace.

    FEATURED LOCATIONS
    Pgs 29/32 The planet Sunday, 2108.

    IN SUMMARY - Robert Smith?
    ...and the NSAs had been doing so well lately, too. This is the usual Michalowski rubbish: badly written tosh and an obsession with a single strand of science (see also The Tree of Life). The otter mystery isn't too bad, even if the author is determined to put all his research on the page. The first half is quite atmospheric, with the wetness of the planet being described in loving detail and being the book's only real redeeming feature. Sadly, it's then all but ignored in favour of a battle against a monster that's never named, never seen in its entirety and never described aside from a tentacle. Oh, and the TARDIS vanishes, never to return. Sigh.