Night of the Humans
by David Llewellyn

Publisher: BBC
ISBN: 1 846 07969 0


    On an asteroid made of junk, the Sittuun have been shipwrecked. But that's the least of their problems. Because the humans are coming.


    Amy Pond.

    Pg 14/32 The Gyre, 250,000.

    Pg 210 On board the Golden Bough.

    Pg 218 The Gyre again.

    Pg 227 Back on the Golden Bough.


    Pg 14 "Something a little bit more like the moon." Apollo 23.

    Pg 15 "I've smelled worse. You should try sixteenth-century London. Place was an open sewer." The Shakespeare Code.

    Pg 16 "Ponds have ducks. Well... Some of them do." The Eleventh Hour.

    Pg 31 "Time machines. Alien Time Lords. Space whales. Intergalactic felons." The Beast Below, The Time of Angels.

    Pg 39 The sonic screwdriver makes an appearance. (Fury From th Deep et al.)

    Pg 55 "Won four Silver Buzzards at the Battle Of Krontep?" Mindwarp.

    Pg 79 'Doesn't he mean Wyatt Earp and the OK Corral?" The Gunfighters.

    Pg 82 "'Voga and Midas Superior,' said Ahmed, sounding far less condescending than Slipstream. 'Gold planets.'" Revenge of the Cybermen.

    Pg 94 "She thought about home, and the Doctor, and the dress she might never wear." The Eleventh Hour.

    Pg 98 "'In the beginning,' he bellowed, 'was the dark blue night and the silence and the empty and the none.'" Possible reference to the Silence, as mentioned in The Eleventh Hour (and seen in Season 6).

    Pg 121 "In his many lives he had falled great heights and been shot. He'd lost a hand and grown it back." Logopolis, the Telemovie, The Christmas Invasion.

    Pg 155 "It'll be like finding a needle in a haystack. Or rather, it'll be like finding one specific needly in a pile of near-identical needles." The Doctor said something very similar in Apollo 23.

    Pg 206 "The little girl from Leadworth with the monster in her wall" The Eleventh Hour.

    Pg 220 "She had waited a very long time for him to come back to her - fourteen years in all" The Eleventh Hour.

    Pg 239 "I've run around a spaceship in my nightie." The Beast Below.

    "'Have you got anyone back home?' 'What do you mean?' 'Well... Like, a boyfriend or anything?' 'It's a bit more complicated than that'" Rory, as seen in The Eleventh Hour.


    Captain Jamal, Charlie.


    • Pg 98 "He was tall in stature, [...] his face half hidden with a mottled birds nest of a beard." Shouldn't that be "birds' nest"?

    PLUGGING THE HOLES [Fan-wank theorizing of how to fix continuity cock-ups]

    • Punctuation has moved on in the intervening 2500 centuries.

    Pg 20 The Sittuun. They have smooth bald grey heads, small black eyes and lipless mouths.

    Pg 24 Humans who look like hairy chimpanzees. (Strictly speaking, these aren't aliens, but we've included them for completeness.)

    Pg 38 Sollogs, metre-long slug-like beings with eight spindly legs.

    Pg 159 Flying fish, no bigger than a thumb.

    Pg 32 The Gyre, 250,000 (page 19).

    Pg 210 The Golden Bough.

    IN SUMMARY - Robert Smith?
    The plot is simplistic, the two factions a massive cliche and none of the jokes are funny. The Doctor is generic and Amy is too, losing all the goodwill from the previous book. The Sittuun are okay, but the humans are very poorly done indeed; only Manco has any personality and he decides to kill himself for... no reason whatsoever. But then, nothing makes much sense. Why are there tiny flying fish that only exist in the spaceship? No reason. Only Dirk Slipsteam offers something out of the ordinary, but he's unmasked way too quickly and then becomes a ranting villain. All that makes for a pretty bad novel. But where it falls into sheer awfulness is with the constant, unrelenting use of italics, as though this is a comic strip. Here's a tip: if your sentence needs to use italics for emphasis, then you've written a bad sentence. I can't believe this juvenile junk was actually published. Amateur.