Heart of TARDIS
by Dave Stone

Publisher: BBC
ISBN: 0 563 55596 3


    The second Doctor, Jamie and Victoria become suspects in a case of inexpressibly horrible murders. The fourth Doctor and Romana have been summoned by the Gallifreyan High Council to deal with an unimaginably terrible force that has been released onto the space/time continuum.

    Second and Fourth.

    Victoria, Jamie, Romana 1, K9 Mark II.

    The hall of Big Pretend-Move Animals But Don't Cos They're Dead And Have Sand Stuck Up Them (page 25).

    Near the Drive-O-Rama, Lychburg (page 35).


    Pg 6 "I shudder to think of the state to which the Fitzroy Tavern might be reduced in another fifty years. Radiophonic actors and pulp-periodical writers, I have no doubt..." The Fitzroy Tavern is the monthly Tavern in England, attended by fans and Doctor Who authors alike.

    Pg 23 "Even the Daleks themselves had once, on hearing rumous of a band of collectors in the vicinity, gone through extremely tortuous subterfuges to mask their entire home planet, pretend that it had been destroyed, and only bring it out from cover when the creatures who would become known as the Collectors had gone." This is a joke on War of the Daleks.

    Pg 39 "Those damn Si-" Almost certainly Silurians.

    Pg 40 Colonel Crichton is mentioned (The Five Doctors).

    Pg 41 "That business out in Haiti last year." Uncertain reference.

    Pg 42 "She had also decided to regenerate herself a smaller, slightly more compact body the first chance she got, as soon as she could find a suitably elegant template." The Armageddon Factor/Destiny of the Daleks.

    Reference to Skaro.

    Pg 43 "Imagine the effect if I'd whisked him away from that young man's birthday party in twentieth-century Manchester..." This is a reference to an episode of Queer as Folk (which used the actual K9 prop, operated by Matt Irvine).

    "The Collectors [...] were wheeling in a massive Chelonian disrupter." The Chelonians were first seen in The Highest Science.

    "Where do you feel like? Paris in the spring? I've always loved Paris in the spring." City of Death.

    Pg 62 "Its most recent and blatant act being to requisition fully a third of the gold reserves from the Bank of England without explanation." Presumably to fight the Cybermen.

    Pg 75 Reference to Rassilon (and the Time Wars, although it's stated that they never happened).

    Pg 78 "An incident in ancient Babylon and the first Mars landing are happening simultaneously" The Ambassadors of Death.

    Pg 81 "I gave him the means to contact me, should he ever need my services and now...it looks as though he's in trouble..." This is the telegraph the Brigadier uses to contact the Doctor in Revenge of the Cybermen/Terror of the Zygons.

    Pg 99 He peered at a display, worriedly. 'It's been a while since we got the signal, what with the transit lag.' He turned to look out of the page at the reader with no small amount of concern. 'I just hope we can get there in time without doing something completely stupid.'" The fourth Doctor often addressed the camera, in The Face of Evil, The Invasion of Time and The Pirate Planet, amongst others.

    Pg 111 "Jamie [...] had first met the Doctor in the battle of Culloden" The Highlanders.

    Pg 153 "Man had set foot on Mars more than five years before. Admittedly, man hadn't set foot on Mars again, on account of what he had found there." The Ambassadors of Death, and it's also mentioned in The Dying Days that humans have been going to Mars continually between then and 1997.

    Pg 163 "Metal men who walked and people who lived in crystal bubbles beneath the sea" Tomb of the Cybermen, uncertain reference.

    Pg 184 "Now he was standing outside a store called Fractured Planet" Its not clear what relationship, if any, this has to Return to the Fractured Planet (Dave Stone's Benny NA).

    Pg 197 Reference to John Dee, who is also mentioned in The Adventuress of Henrietta Street.

    Pg 227 "The turned left at the kitchens and ran through the swimming-pool chamber" The Invasion of Time.

    Pg 245 "And quite what the Sontarans are doing with soul-catcher bombs I have no idea..." Soul-catching was seen in The Devil Goblins from Neptune.

    Pg 268 One of the Astonishing! authors is said to be Podmore Sloathe, although it's not clear what relation this has to the Sloathes, first seen in Sky Pirates!

    Pg 270 "Her name was Dorothee McShane and she was a stripper in a bar called The Beer Cellar." Dorothee McShane is Ace's real name, at least according to the New Adventures.

    Pg 272 "I am Queegvogel Duck Duck Duck Duck Duck Duck Seven, come to kill all Earth men and to breed with all Earth women..." Queegvogel Duck Duck Duck Duck Duck Duck Seven was a character in Burning Heart, although this may not be the same one, given that he was friendly then.

    Pg 277 The phrase "all-consuming fire" appears, but is likely just a phrase and not a reference to the NA of the same name.

    Note: Some of these stories at the end are reprinted from Dave Stone's contributions to Perfect Timing II.

    The Brigadier and Sergeant Benton.

    Katherine Delbane, although she might be related to Kara Delbane who turns up in Return to the Fractured Planet (and they may even be the same person, given that Kara was an Artificial Personality Embodiment).

    Dr Sohn (although she never interacts with either TARDIS crew).

    The Jarakabeth.

    The Collectors, one of whom shows up in The Slow Empire.


    1. Pg 20 "Instead of rendering the TARDIS immobile, they simply made it impossible for any thief to take it where he wants it to go." This doesn't square with other renegades having full control of their TARDISes (such as the Monk).
    2. Margaret Thatcher is Prime Minister, but the Brigadier has not yet retired. Yates is mentioned as being in active service, despite leaving UNIT in Invasion of the Dinosaurs. Benton is still a Sergeant, even though this definitely postdates Robot, where he was promoted. What's worse, the fourth Doctor assumes he's still a corporal (page 117).

    PLUGGING THE HOLES [Fan-wank theorizing of how to fix continuity cock-ups]

    1. The Doctor is simply theorising to cover the fact that he actually doesn't know how to pilot the TARDIS, as he says later on.
    2. All of these are side effects of the continuity effects that have affected the entire universe mentioned on page 143. (There, UNIT dating sorted for all time.)

    The Collectors, metamorphic life forms who can rearrange their bodies at will and like to collect things.

    Page 32 sees a variety of aliens in passing: Ragged, faceless men with stunted parasites inside them; a fabricated, animated monstrosity, lashed together from driftwood and oiled rope; and pale-faced, god-like beings.

    The Jarakabeth, effectively immortal entities who can possess corporeal beings and take over their minds.

    Crowley's minions are apparently alien to begin with and are later transformed into a hideous mass.

    Likewise, the inhabitants of Lychburg form an enormous humanoid monster.

    London, circa 1950.

    Lychburg, circa 1980 (although time is mangled within the bubble).

    The Big Huge and Educational Collectionof Old Galactic Stuff (the distant future)

    UNIT barracks, circa 1980 (the year is never given, but Thatcher is Prime Minister).

    Interrogation cells, location unknown (though within a helicopter ride of the UNIT barracks), circa 1980.

    Lychburg, the US (at the end).

    IN SUMMARY - Robert Smith?
    There's a lot of good stuff in Heart of TARDIS, but sadly most of it is in about the first quarter and doesn't involve the bits with the second Doctor. Having the population of Lychburg be characters from The Simpsons and a couple from Cheers is dumb, rather than clever or funny and Dave Stone proves just as inept at capturing the second Doctor as everyone else. The fourth Doctor and Romana fare much better and there are some decent jokes (the funniest of which is the Doctor addressing the reader directly on page 99), not least of which involves the way the two TARDIS crews interact (or don't) at the end. The return of Dave Stone to Doctor Who books should have been a glorious turning point, but it ends up being just another mediocre PDA.