Writing/Editing Cute girl. Ten years of Outside In That would be telling This is who we are She's dead... wrapped in plastic I want to believe The truth is not out there The truth is out there This planet is ours Modern Series Guide We help the helpless Too Broad and Deep In every generation... Diseases have ecology too Make it so Beam me up All 12 of them 125 original essays! Math can save your life For all you gamers Watch them before you die 160 freaking people! New Series Guide Huuunnngggrrryyy Was there a TU1? It's been Stalinised Diseases have ecology?

Welcome to the homepage of
Stacey Smith?

Yes, the question mark is actually part of my name. This seems to have made a lot of bureaucrats very upset. However, interesting people really like it. So you can decide which side of the line you fall, based on your reaction to it...

This is by far the most interesting aspect of my name. The other is that it has recently changed from male to female, but that's just because I changed something trivial like gender. The question mark stays, because it's much more fundamental.

I'm originally from Australia, but heroically completed the marathon application process to become a dual citizen of Canada too. To add to the challenge, I did this while living in the US. People kept asking if I'd be getting US citizenship next and I kept laughing at that. Somewhat hysterically, it must be said.

People sometimes ask me why I have a question mark in my name. In fact, somebody does this approximately fifteen times a day. (One day, I'm sure he'll get bored and go away.) If you haven't lived with an incredibly common name, then you have no idea what it's like to be entirely invisible on Google.

Happily, the entire world now seems to know of this, thanks to the media storm surrounding the zombie article. Someday, somehow, this will get through to the punctuation-phobes at Facebook. Well, I live in hope...

Contact details

Mailing address:

Dr. Stacey R. Smith?
The Department of Mathematics
The University of Ottawa
STEM Complex, Room 336
150 Louis-Pasteur Pvt
Ottawa, ON K1N 6N5
Canada

Office location: STEM 529

613 562 5800 x3740

Email: stacey (dot) smith (at) uottawa (dot) ca

Publications

Diseases

Topics

Complete list. This is probably the best link to click on.

Workshops

How to get an academic job

How to write a paper

How to give a talk

Books

Click on any of the book images to find a link where you can buy a copy.

Writing/Editing

Publications are the currency of academia. And yet, many people in the sciences, and especially mathematics, are never actually taught how to write. More specifically, they are not taught how to edit, redraft and revise their material so that the presentation is optimal for the reader. Most academic articles are appallingly written, even by native English speakers. One of the core problems is that most scientists hate writing and put only the bare minimum of effort into it. Furthermore, academic articles too often read like a first draft, with little understanding that all writing is editing. However, academic writing is a skill like any other that can be broken down into stages.

This book will go through the detailed process of assembling an article, from first drafts to writing abstracts to revision to responding to reviewers, illustrated with multiple versions of worked examples as well as what not to do.


Ten years of Outside In

Celebrating 10 years of the OUTSIDE IN series and 60 years of DOCTOR WHO, the OUTSIDE IN series returns to Classic WHO for an all-new, eclectic and altogether gonzo collection of critical essays! OUTSIDE IN REGENERATES is a celebration of both the television show and the book series inspired by it, with 163 completely different and even more varied essays on every adventure.

Arriving just in time for the show's Diamond Anniversary!


That would be telling

Infectious diseases have been with us for millennia and continue to pose a threat, from the irritation of flu season… to the potential extinction of our species.

We instinctively fear them and alter our behaviour as a result. The reason we bury bodies six feet deep is because that was the depth that stopped plague transmission from the dead in the Middle Ages. Many religious practices, such as avoiding certain meats, were established because of foodborne disease transmission.

In The Top Ten Diseases of All Time, Stacey Smith? presents the top ten deadliest diseases and their effects on society, providing a wealth of information about the trajectory and terrible impact of each disease, humanity’s reaction to these diseases throughout the millennia.


This is who we are

"The time is now."

Millennium is the greatest show you've never watched -- and its second season may well be one of the most perfect seasons of television ever made. Although created by the same team that struck lightning in a bottle with The X-Files, Millennium is at once more personal and larger than anything its sister show managed. By turns experimental, visually striking, apocalyptic and occasionally downright hilarious, Millennium explored the cultural fears of a changing America in the late 1990s. With fears of a looming apocalypse, the rise of serial killers, cults and the evolving nature of religion, the series stood at the intersection of cultural fears between the twentieth century and 9/11 -- and predicts a devastating worldwide pandemic.


She's dead... wrapped in plastic

Put ten Twin Peaks fans in a room and you'll wind up with eleven opinions, fourteen heated debates about the location of the Black Lodge and somebody cosplaying Dougie as a disintegrating tulpa. That's because Twin Peaks fans are gloriously weird, uniquely different and sometimes entirely outlandish. And so is this book.

Celebrating over 30 years of Twin Peaks, OUTSIDE IN WALKS WITH FIRE is a collection of 55 reviews, one for every story. Well, we say "reviews, but we mean that loosely: Within these pages, you'll find recipes, scripts, interviews, plays, restaurant reviews, dance competitions, mindscapes and a Choose Your Own Adventure. Not to mention insightful and thoughtful articles, examining Twin Peaks -- both the classic show and its return, 25 years later -- from just about every aspect imaginable… and then some!

Provocative, engrossing, hilarious and utterly gonzo. This is OUTSIDE IN.


I want to believe

Put ten X-Files fans in a room and you'll wind up with eleven opinions, fourteen heated debates about Scully's desk, somebody cosplaying Doggett's alternate universe persona and arguments about whether Millennium, The Lone Gunmen and Harsh Realm are part of the same universe. That's because X-Files fans are gloriously weird, uniquely different and sometimes entirely outlandish. And so is this book.

Celebrating almost 30 years of The X-Files, 25 years of Millennium, over 20 years of Harsh Realm and 20 years of The Lone Gunmen (whew!), OUTSIDE IN WANTS TO BELIEVE is a collection of 156 reviews, one for every story of each show. Well, we say "reviews", but we mean that loosely: Within these pages, you'll find video games, marketing reports, infographics, confessionals, parking tickets, PowerPoint presentations, science experiments, school reports, time loops and even a Rube Goldberg machine. Not to mention insightful and thoughtful articles, examining the worlds of shadowy conspiracies, apocalypses, virtual reality and monsters of the week from just about every aspect imaginable… and then some!

Provocative, engrossing, hilarious and utterly gonzo. This is OUTSIDE IN.


The truth is not out there

"The most dangerous small-press non-fiction comedy Doctor Who book published in North America since The Completely Unofficial Encyclopedia."
- Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All (translated from the original baby)

"Way too many bondage jokes!"
- Adric, live from the Hadron web

"I kind of liked it, actually."
- Alpha Centauri, winning at strip poker

Look at the Size of That Thing! contains everything you need to know to fool everyone into believing you're a true Doctor Who fan. Sure, you could always actually watch every episode and reconstruction, read every novel and comic book, listen to every audio, play every game, memorize every Pixley archive, et cetera, but who has time for that? Bill Evenson and Stacey Smith?, that's who! Since you've been busy, they've nerded it up for you and provided an irreverent and downright hilarious comedy guide to all things Doctor Who. Like the White House Correspondents' Dinner, contained within is a roast of everything to do with Doctor Who, from the plots to the script editors to the spinoffs to the fans themselves. Episode guides, talking points, story codes, penis jokes and which episodes you absolutely must hate with a burning passion if you're to make it among the fan glitterati. Everything you need to fake it 'til you make it. And then some.


The truth is out there

Put ten X-Files or Kolchak fans in a room, and you'll wind up with eleven opinions, fourteen heated debates about government conspiracies and somebody cosplaying the Cigarette Smoking Man sporting the parasite twin from Humbug while wearing Kolchak's porkpie hat. That's because X-Files fans are gloriously weird, uniquely different and sometimes entirely outlandish. And so is this book.

Celebrating over 25 years of The X-Files, and nearly 50 years of Kolchak: The Night Stalker, OUTSIDE IN TRUSTS NO ONE is a collection of 156 reviews, one for every story of each show. Well, we say ÒreviewsÓ, but we mean that loosely: within these pages, you'll find recipes, union meetings, restaurant ads, time loops, mixtapes, personal ads, a thesis, Venn diagrams, musicals, plays, role-playing games, building-code reports and a color-by-numbers game. not to mention insightful and thoughtful articles, examining the worlds of shadowy conspiracies, UFOs and monsters of the week from just about every aspect imaginable... and then some!

Provocative, engrossing, hilarious and utterly gonzo. This is OUTSIDE IN.


This planet is ours In which I wrote a book dealing with the potential of a global pandemic to wipe out humanity... that was published one month before COVID-19 hit. This is my treastise on science vs. ethics.

In the face of hopelessness, are we still compelled to do the right thing? No Doctor Who story encapsulates the layered complexity of science versus ethics more than this one. The story raises issues of land rights, the 1970s energy crisis, technological innovation, animal experimentation and the role of the military. Science is presented as the solution to many of the problems, but terrible acts result from the morality of the choices made by both humans and Silurians - and an exiled Time Lord.


Modern Series Guide

Travel with the Doctor in this essential companion for the modern Doctor Who era. Since its return to British television in 2005, through its 50th anniversary in 2013, to its historic casting of actress Jodie Whittaker in the title role, Doctor Who continues to be one of the most popular series in Britain and all over the world.

Who Is The Doctor 2 is a guide to the new series of Doctor Who starring Matt Smith, Peter Capaldi, and Jodie Whittaker. Every episode in series 7 to 11, as well as the 50th anniversary specials, is examined, analyzed, and discussed in thoughtful detail, highlighting the exhilarating moments, the connections to Doctor Who lore, the story arcs, the relationships, the goofs, the accumulated trivia and much, much more. Designed for die-hard Whovians and Who newbies alike, Who Is The Doctor 2 explores time and space with the Doctor and chronicles the imagination that has made Doctor Who an iconic part of culture for over 50 years.


We help the helpless

Put ten Angel or Firefly fans in a room, and you'll wind up with eleven opinions, fourteen heated debates about the nature of redemption and somebody cosplaying Captain Reynolds as a blue-gloved Reaver. That's because Whedonverse fans are gloriously weird, uniquely different and sometimes entirely outlandish. And so is this book.

Celebrating two decades of Angel as well as Firefly, OUTSIDE IN GAINS A SOUL is a collection of 127 reviews, one for every story of each show, plus a few extras. Well, we say "reviews", but we mean that loosely: within these pages, you'll find surveys, crosswords, fertility pamphlets, karaoke songs, games, plays, insurance reports, wildlife documentaries, comic strips, obituaries and a Choose Your Own Adventure. Not to mention insightful and thoughtful articles, examining the worlds of Los Angeles and the ÔVerse from just about every aspect imaginable... and then some!

Provocative, engrossing, hilarious and utterly gonzo. These aren't your father's reviews.


Too Broad and Deep

From the time Doctor Who vanished from TV screens in 1989 to its first return with the Paul McGann telemovie in 1996, the saga continued in print via a series of New Adventures novels. For many fans, this was the official continuation of the story that had ended with Ace and the Doctor walking into the sunset, perhaps never to be seen again.

The New Adventures (or NAs) helped to define modern Doctor Who. Russell T. Davies was a huge fan and wrote for the range, whilst Steven Moffat contributed short stories. Other participating Who luminaries included Terrance Dicks, Andrew Cartmel and Marc Platt. It was also the first steppingstone for Paul Cornell, Mark Gatiss, Gareth Roberts, Kate Orman and Lance Parkin, amongst many others.

The books are regarded as a literary Golden Age for Doctor Who. There is even a word that describes the way fans remember them: "NAstalgia." And for those that never read them, they provide an invaluable insight into where Doctor Who was heading before and after its 2005 rebirth.

This is an episode guide to a series of episodes that never were. With trivia, thematic discussions, plot holes, continuity notes, reviews and much more on all 61 NAs, this book is serious and not-at-all serious, thoughtful and disrespectful, accessible to newcomers and equally informative to those who can tell you fifteen unknown facts about Paul Cornell.

Too broad and deep; that's the New Adventures in a nutshell. Let the BOOKWYRM be your guide!


In every generation...

Put ten Buffy fans in a room, and you'll wind up with eleven opinions, fourteen heated debates about the nature of the soul and somebody cosplaying Mirror Willow as an Initiative-produced demon hybrid with a stake in her arm. That's because Buffy fans are gloriously weird, uniquely different and sometimes entirely outlandish. And so is this book.

Celebrating over 25 years of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, OUTSIDE IN TAKES A STAB is a collection of 139 reviews, one for every story of the television series, plus the movie and a couple extras. Well, we say "reviews", but we mean that loosely: within these pages, you'll find mix tapes, mazes, recipes, speeches, games, songs, crosswords, plays, policy documents, D&D manuals, documentaries, term papers and a Turing machine. Not to mention insightful and thoughtful articles, examining the world of Sunnydale from just about every aspect imaginable... and then some!

Provocative, engrossing, hilarious and utterly gonzo. These aren't your mother's reviews.


Diseases have ecology 2 The second edition of my textbook contains 50% again new material, including a friendly introduction to impulsive differential equations and an updated case study on zombies. From the publisher:

"Modelling Disease Ecology with Mathematics" is a self-contained introduction to the basics of mathematics for students and researchers in the areas of biology, epidemiology, medicine and public health. Diseases covered include malaria, yellow fever, measles, influenza, Guinea-worm disease and AIDS.
a) Mathematical models representing current diseases are formulated and analysed in an easy-to-follow manner, often humorously.
b) MATLAB exercises provide the reader with the ability to develop control strategies, test hypothetical interventions and explore disease-management options.
c) Case studies provide worked examples of applying theoretical tools to real-life problems (and also prepare the world for a zombie apocalypse).

This monograph is especially suited to those without a background in mathematics, who are interested in learning about the way that mathematics can organise, analyse and enlighten when tackling biological problems in disease control and management.

Now available for free online.


I am Locutus of Borg Put ten Star Trek fans in a room and you'll wind up with eleven opinions, 47 heated debates about the nature of the Holodeck and somebody cosplaying Worf in a transporter accident with the Crystalline Entity. That's because Star Trek fans are gloriously weird, uniquely different and sometimes entirely outlandish. And so is this book.

Celebrating 30 years of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Outside In Makes It So is a collection of 174 reviews, one for every story of the show, the four movies and a few bonus extras. Well, we say "reviews", but we mean that loosely: within these pages, you'll find scripts, recipes, a Monty Python sketch, a psych test, gossip columns, newspaper ads, a sitcom, a eulogy and a daily log from Riker's beard, not to mention insightful and thoughtful articles examining Picard-era Star Trek from just about every angle imaginable... and then some!

Provocative, engrossing, hilarious and utterly gonzo. These aren't your father's reviews.


What is this thing you humans call kissing Put ten Star Trek fans in a room and you'll wind up with eleven opinions, fourteen heated debates about Starfleet uniforms and somebody cosplaying Spock in a teleporter accident with a Gorn. That's because Star Trek fans are gloriously weird, uniquely different and sometimes entirely outlandish. And so is this book.

Celebrating 50 years of Star Trek, Outside In Boldly Goes is a collection of 117 reviews, one for every story of the original series, the animated series, the Kirk movies and a few bonus extras. Within these pages, you'll find scripts, Starfleet communiques, DVD commentaries, fill-in-the-blank games, log entries, restaurant reviews, poems and a trading-card set.

Provocative, engrossing, hilarious and utterly gonzo. These aren't your father's reviews.


Just these guys, you know? From his beginnings as a crotchety, anti-heroic scientist in 1963 to his current place in British pop culture as the mad and dangerous monster-fighting saviour of the universe, the titular character of Doctor Who has metamorphosed in his 50 years on television. And yet the questions about him remain the same: Who is he? Why does he act the way he does? What motivates him to fight evil across space and time?

The Doctors Are In is a guide to television's most beloved time traveller from the authors of Who Is The Doctor and Who's 50. This is a guide to the Doctor himself: who he is in his myriad forms, how he came to be, how he has changed (within the program itself and behind the scenes)... and why he's a hero to millions.


125 original essays Celebrating ten years of Modern Doctor Who, Outside In 2 is a collection of 125 original reviews, one for every story from Rose to Last Christmas. Well, we say "reviews" but we mean that loosely: within these pages, you'll find articles in two voices, letters to the Daily Mail, memoirs, lists, poems, diaries, text messages, scripts, a quiz, job applications, role-playing games, a choose-your-own-adventure, Latin translations, recipes, wedding vows, haikus, insurance claims and musical numbers... not to mention insightful and thoughtful articles, examining the New Series from just about every aspect imaginable. And then some.

Math can save your life The zombie apocalypse could occur at any time. The best weapon? Braaaiiinnnsss! The apocalypse survival kit includes such essentials as: mathematical models; differential equations; individual-based modelling; zombie swarming; statistical estimation; fuzzy decision-making; network theory; discrete-time models; spatial diffusion of the undead; and adaptive strategies for zombie attacks. Chapters also look at how modelling can advise government policy, how theoretical results can be communicated to a non-mathematical audience and how models can be formulated with only limited information. In the most egotistical research ever conducted, I even develop a mathematical model to track the viral spread of the story of my original math paper through the media (well, hey, I had all the data!). Oh, and it features a foreword by Andrew Cartmel, former script editor of Doctor Who, author, zombie fan and all-round famous person in science-fiction circles.

By understanding how to combat zombies, readers will see an introduction to a wide variety of modelling techniques, which are applicable to other real-world issues (such as diseases and ecology), but which engage the imagination. The aim of this collection is to illustrate the power of mathematical modelling using the fun hook of zombies.


For all you gamers If you're into gaming at all, then you'll love this book. It's written by women, to provide an alternate perspective on a male-dominated subject and provides a counterbalance to gamergate and some of the nastiness out there. I'm very humbled to have been involved.

Watch them before you die! If you've always wanted to get into Doctor Who --- and let's be honest, who amongst us hasn't, deep down? --- then this is the book for you. The biggest problem with Classic Doctor Who is knowing where to start; there's just so much of it, the sixties stuff doesn't all exist and some of it is slow. So we wrote a book just for you! It's a sort of bucket list of Doctor Who, both Classic and New.

Even better, we tested this out on our editor, who'd only seen one Classic Series story (and hated it). She mainlined 200 episodes in three months... and came out of it a squeeing fangirl. So I think of this book as "the fan-maker".

But if you're a hardcore fan, don't despair. We wrote it with an eye on you as well. (Yes, we can write simultaneously for two audiences at once. That's how we roll.) So there's something for everyone.


160 freaking essays! It's the biggest, wildest idea I ever had. There are 160 Doctor Who stories in the Classic Series, so I set myself an impossible goal. One essay per story, by 160 distinct individuals. O.M.G. But that's not the thing that really makes this book something special. On top of that, I added a requirement: say something new. Something different.

The result? 160 essays that examine every Classic Series story from perspectives ranging from the interesting to the unexpected to the downright bizarre. So included in this collection are mock-angry letters to the BBC, transcripts of council meetings, even a recipe. There are flow charts, maps, TV scripts, timelines, Shakespearean plays... and, of course, intensely passionate and vocal opinions about the entirety of Doctor Who.

These are not your father's reviews. Now doesn't that just make you want to go buy it?


Huuunnngggrrryyy Think you know a thing or two about zombies? Think again. If you're going to keep your wits - and your brains - about you during a zombie attack, you need expert advice. Braaaiiinnnsss!: From Academics to Zombies gathers together an irreverent group of scholars and writers to take a serious look at how zombies threaten almost every aspect of our lives. Spawned from the viral publication "When Zombies Attack!: Mathematical Modelling of an Outbreak of Zombie Infection," this multidisciplinary book draws on a variety of fields including biology, history, law, gender studies, archaeology, library science and landscape architecture. Part homage to zombie films and fiction, part cultural study, this collection humorously explores our deep-seated fear of the undead. Engaging and accessible, Braaaiiinnnnssss! will amuse academics and zombie fans alike.

Best of all, it's fairly heavy, so it might just be crucial when undead grandma rises from the grave and wants to eat your braaaiiinnnsss. So buy this book. Your life (and grandma's) may depend on it!

Click on the image to the left to go to see the table of contents and the ordering information. Or you can try Amazon.

Bonus: If you bought the print version, the last page was missing. And what better way to end an academic book than with a comedy index? Click here to download it for free. (If you bought the ebook, then the index was included, partly because you can make changes after the fact, but mostly because it was funnier that way.)


WITD I'm not just a disease modeller and international man of zombie mystery. Oh no. My interests run far and wide beyond such ephemeral geekery... and they run right into some utterly serious geekery. These books are my collective love letter to Doctor Who, my first and primary science fiction outlet.

Who is the Doctor is a fun and entertaining combination of episode guides and essays that is a must-have for all Doctor Who aficionados. The handbook explores all facets of the new series' first six seasons, providing an essential companion for the show's avid fans and casual viewers alike.

Oh, and this book won the Silver award for best tie-in nonfiction in the 2013 independent book publishers' awards. Which is pretty fancy. Experts agree: you probably want to read this book.

You can order it from Amazon or directly from ECW Press by clicking on the image on the left.


TU3

TU2

Time Unincorporated is a collection of the best essays and commentary from a range of Doctor Who fanzines, online articles and original commissions. Collectively, the essays derived from these sources form one of the most diverse compilations of Doctor Who writing ever produced. TU2 covers the Classic Series while TU3 covers the New Series. If you like Doctor Who, there's something in here for everyone.

You can order them from Amazon or directly from Mad Norwegian Press by clicking on the images on the left.


Disease ecology.

Oh yeah, and I also wrote a textbook. But, unlike just about every textbook ever, this one is written in a friendly and accessible style. I keep getting compliments on that, which is quite impressive for a book about mathematics.

Have you ever wondered how to create a mathematical model of an infectious disease? (Don't deny it, you know you have!) Ever burned with the passion to create your own pretty pictures in Matlab... where someone actually gave you the code, so you didn't have to learn it yourself? (Go on, admit it!) Ever wondered why nobody ever wrote a math textbook specifically to appeal to the masses? (Okay, this question may answer itself...) Well, this may be the book for you!

The book is a self-contained, accessible introduction to the basics of mathematics for students and researchers in the areas of biology, epidemiology, medicine and public health. It provides an overview of basic modelling, data-fitting and the tangled issue that is the basic reproductive ratio. Diseases covered include malaria, yellow fever, measles and AIDS.

This textbook is suitable for a second or third year undergraduate course combining modelling with computational software. You can order it here.

Note: It doesn't contain any zombies, but there is a fairly blatant reference to Doctor Who.

Cartoon Abstract

Cartoon freaking abstract! Yes, they made a cartoon of one of my papers! Click here for a close up and here to read the original paper.

Selected media appearances

Current lab members

A complete set
In person together at last!

Click here for a list of former lab members.

Awards

Of sewage, disease and zombies

I started academic life in sewage. When it comes down to it, don't we all, really? But I did so a bit more literally than most, since I was studying sewage treatment and toxic waste cleanup for my PhD. This is a process called self-cycling fermentation and is kinda funky after you've spent five years thinking about nothing but that.

Still, it gave me good training in Applied Mathematics (my pure math days started in Australia and had a brief flirtation in my Master's degree in Canada, but then I gave into the dark side of mathematics and decided to apply myself). It also taught me Impulsive Differential Equations, which are a great tool and something more people should know about (although thanks to the zombies, now they probably do). It helps if you can think discontinuously, but that wasn't too much of a problem for me.

After my PhD, I did a postdoc at the University of Western Ontario, where I discovered infectious diseases. At first it was just the one, you know? A little HIV, you know you want to, all your friends are doing it... Before I knew it, I was studying malaria, then it was human papillomavirus. After that, it was all a blur of neglected tropical diseases that kept coming and coming and, oh god, then I was into some really hardcore stuff, man. And once you've tried modelling zombies, you can never go back... *sobs*

Oh, right, sorry about that. Let me start over.

I started doing immunological modelling of HIV with Lindi Wahl and really enjoyed it. We came up with a series of papers, which involved applying my Impulsive Differential Equations skills to drug-taking in order to create a complex HIV model and then use that to discuss drug resistance. This led to one of the few papers to deal with the question of adherence (it started life as a collaboration with Lindi, but she kindly pushed me out of the nest). Which is a shame, as the US department of health and human services called it the most urgent unanswered question in HIV research.

My second postdoc was at UCLA, which everyone in Canada thought was a dream come true, but being Australian I'd experienced actual warmth before, so I seemed to fit right in. I was part of the Disease Modelling Group in the School of Medicine, working on epidemiological models of HIV under Sally Blower. And that still sounds fancy.

Sally and I published a paper on possible perverse outcomes of HIV vaccines. As well as being a pretty high profile publication academically, this was the first paper my parents could actually read and not be bamboozled by. I got a lot of postive comments from non-academic friends and family... I also got a lot of sympathetic murmers from pure mathematicians when I told them that not only did all my math work get put into an appendix, it got put into a web-only appendix. Such is the price of leaving the cosy world of mathematics.

Our group also published a paper on female sex workers and HIV vaginal microbicides. I started off in the rectal microbicide team, but then switched to the vaginal team. The jokes were never-ending, I can assure you.

I then moved to the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, where I worked on zoonotic diseases, specifically malaria, Chagas' disease and West Nile Virus. I even got to go on a West Nile Virus field trip and stand around at the creek where it all happened in Chicago. It took me a while to realise that hey, maybe all those mosquitoes buzzing around my bare arms might not be the best idea... But I think there are two types of disease modellers: those who let it get to them and think they've caught everything under the sun and those who become incredibly blase about it. Thankfully I'm in the latter category.

After a whirlwind interviewing tour of the continent, I ended up at the University of Ottawa. Now I teach, write grants and organise conferences like every other professor. Unlike most of them, I can skate to work, which is quite the achievement in the eyes of my Australian family and friends. I'm still working on HIV, but have become interested in Human Papillomavirus (thanks to the vaccine), malaria, various tropical diseases - and, of course, that terrifying infection known to humanity only as... zombies!

The zombies have grabbed quite a lot of attention. And rightly so, because who doesn't love the flesh-eating undead? A surprising number of people have emailed me to tell me that the model doesn't include the killing of the zombies (it does, in the impulsive eradication section) or that zombies don't come back to life when you kill them (I'm sorry, but they do; Shaun hits one with his car in Shaun of the Dead and then it comes back to life). The fact that I can have this kind of discussion about my academic work thrills me to bits. Except for that one guy who asked, apparently in all seriousness, if I'd help him create a zombie virus. Now that's scary.